Review: Left Behind

 

by William Hill
★

I have returned from the wastes of the cinema, friends, and I have no idea how I made it back after seeing "Left Behind."

The latest in a long string of faith-oriented films, "Left Behind" is...well, allow me to retract that previous statement. "Left Behind" is a movie, but I won't actually attach the Bible to it. Regardless of whether you believe in God or any other god that may or may not exist, no one should be so malicious as to attach "Left Behind" to a faith of any kind. It's bad enough that Nicholas Cage put his name on this thing...though Chad Michael Murray kind of deserves this, considering he's a well known tool.

I'm really not getting to the point am I? Let's try this again.

This is the worst remake of "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" that I've ever seen.

Seriously.  It's "Die Hard 2" minus everything that people like about "Die Hard 2." It replaced John McClane with one of the many interpretations of the Biblical apocalypse, in this case, the Rapture, where Jesus Christ takes his followers to Heaven prior to the rise of the Antichrist. Not that you'll see evil show its face at any point in this flick; that might make an interesting movie. I'd be much more interested in watching Nic Cage go into full on Cage Rage, shouting at the Antichrist, and I'm pretty sure that this movie might have gone into much wider release.

Instead, Nicholas Cage plays Rayford Steele - and I assure you that he, nor anyone in his family are porn stars - an airline pilot who is cheating on his wife for his birthday. His daughter, Chloe (Cassi Thomson, who I've never heard of) shows up at the airport, and is disappointed that he won't be home to celebrate. She's an atheist who likes to pick fights with Christians, like her mom, Irene, played by a misplaced Lea Thompson. The first half of the movie takes place in airport lounge, and is so heavily front-ended with mountains of forceful "Religion Is Right" dialogue that it's hard to care about who is talking. Also, Chad Michael Murray shows up as a journalist named Buck, adding to the awkwardly funny names. Honestly, this is not how you name characters. If you are a well-versed moviegoer, you might relate him to a certain five second joke from "Kill Bill," especially when paired with a whole family of Steele's. If you are finding that I'm barely talking about the movie, it's because I'm trying to fill space where the movie didn't take the time.

Eventually, the Rapture comes, and viewers are treated to an awkwardly hilarious sequence of "rioting" and "chaos". Yeah, those quotations aren't an accident. Unlike the fact that every crashing car, airplane, bus, and drive-by looter is after Chloe Steel while she looks for her brother. Mind you, her brother was taken in the Rapture, so her quest is less than fulfilling. We'll get to that later. Let's get back to a car almost hitting her, followed by a single engine Cessna slamming into the back of her car, and a bus nearly tumbling over on top of her. All I could think about the Cessna is that it was a perfect metaphor for her parent's broken marriage.

That was the deepest thought I had throughout the entire movie.

Back on the plane, the worst collection of atheistic stereotypes gather and panic about the disappearance of many of the passengers. Among them are a cocaine addict, a paranoid mother who thinks her husband paid everyone on the plane to ignore him taking her daughter (Jordin Sparks, everyone; let's hope that this is the end of her acting AND music careers), and...and...just everyone was a joke. There was even a vertically challenged gentleman who was racist against a Muslim. There is also a conspiracy theorist played by a dude named Han Soto. I wonder if he's going to give up that name now that he's ashamed to have played in this movie, because I would take it.

And that's about it until we get a scene ripped off from the end of "Die Hard 2," where Chloe blows up a car to light up a place for the plane to land. I even sang Let It Snow to complete the vibe. Seriously, that's all that happened in this movie; stereotyped atheists, picture perfect Christians, and the "Die Hard 2" scenario sans terrorists.

I've read "Left Behind," the often preachy first novel in the long series of Christian novels about a group of post-Rapture Born Agains fighting against the rise of the Antichrist. I haven't read past the first one. It was an entertaining book, in its way, I guess. I haven't felt the need to return to it because, well, frankly, I've got better books to read. I've even read better Christian fiction, like the Narnia books and the Space trilogy, both by C.S. Lewis. I only state that this for the record, because I can tell you from experience that "Left Behind" the movie has so little to do with "Left Behind" the book that I don't know why they even bothered to use the character names. Everything that this movie spends two hours doing was done in about sixty pages in the book.

And the editing doesn't help. Every scene awkwardly cuts away without bothering to finish the sentence it started. The opening scene in the airport lounge just dragged out for way too long, and was basically shot-reverse-shot for twenty minutes. Rayford Steele basically sits in the cockpit, staring at instrumentation and asking Buck to tell him what the engines look like. I can imagine him shooting the entire movie inside his green screen equipped trailer, he looks so bored. Every actor looks like they are depressed that they signed on to doing this film. I know that Nic Cage is dealing with tax issues, and I really feel bad for him after seeing him slum to this level. I know that the guy has much better chops than this. I saw "Adaptation." This was not okay!

Every problem that I've mentioned is made all the more horrible by the fact that it looks like it was shot for television, and the music is so bland that it wouldn't feel out of place in a P.S.A. I can't believe that I paid to see this movie in a theater, and it wasn't presented as a result of the local church group buying a DVD and paying to screen it there. It's an abysmal production. I have a hard time believing that this thing exists at all. I'm depressed for Nicholas Cage. And why was Lea Thompson in this thing? The rest of the cast is a miracle of reverse stunt casting. Why would anyone cast Jordin Sparks? Who are these other people behind Nicholas Cage?

Don't see this movie. It's offensive to me as a Christian. It's offensive to me as a moviegoer. It's offensive to me as a writer. If you are an atheist, it will offend you because it will paint you out to be a cartoon stereotype. I can't think of a group of people who wouldn't be offended by this flick.

Allow me to close on this very strange note: "This Is The End" is a much better Rapture film, and it even has a clearer Christian message than "Left Behind." It's an R rated film with a bevy of toilet humor. Think about that.

Review: Gone Girl

by Trevor Kirkendall

★★★½

“Gone Girl” arrives with much fanfare and anticipation. The book upon which this film is based is an international bestseller. I have no doubt that someone somewhere has said something to you along the lines of “seriously, you HAVE to read this book.” Whether you have read the book or not, this is one of those rare films that stays faithful to its source material while still feeling original and fresh.

The film follows Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) who is about to celebrate his fifth anniversary with his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike). Their marriage is falling apart, something Nick confides in with his twin sister Margo (Carrie Coon). But Nick’s problems today are just getting started. He soon discovers his wife missing. Their living room looks like some kind of struggle took place, and trace elements of blood remain visible. Detective Boney (Kim Dickens) and her partner Gilpin (Patrick Fugit) are on the case, but all the evidence points to Nick. He maintains his innocence, but it gets increasingly difficult with so much evidence pointing to him as the murderer and the national media crucifying him each night on TV.

While “Gone Girl” tells the tale of a dysfunctional marriage, there is one marriage here that is perfect. That’s the marriage of director and source material. Very rarely these days do we see a story come along and find its way to a filmmaker with such a unique and distinctive style that matches perfectly. David Fincher has made a career out of telling stories about outcasts or about people living their lives behind a façade.

Fincher is so polished in his craft, making him one of the absolute best filmmakers working today. “Gone Girl” is yet another example on how far he has come as a filmmaker. His chaotic, breakneck pace of storytelling in films such as “Seven” and “Fight Club” have given way to much more provocative films with infinitely more depth. That’s not to say “Seven” and “Fight Club” are bad films – they’re not; far from it, in fact. But he’s become much more versed in character and story that he doesn’t need the fancy visual tricks to carry his films. He was already proficient with the camera and with the dark suspenseful elements of filmmaking, but ever since “Zodiac” he’s taken his films to an entirely different level.

As a man always drawn to the dark and the mysterious, Fincher and “Gone Girl” is a perfect match. If you’re someone who hasn’t read the book, then you probably know someone who has. And that person has no doubt pressed you time and time again to read it. It’s the kind of story that shrouded in so much mystery that it keeps its readers guessing and addicted. The film is just as cryptic thanks to the fact that the novel’s author – Gillian Flynn – is also the screenwriter. Flynn already knows the story and the characters forward and backward which makes her the perfect candidate to adapt the novel. There are differences between the novel and film, but nothing too earth shattering. A few minor elements are left out or glossed over just for the sake of pacing, but this is an otherwise very faithful adaptation.

The dark and twisted elements of the book are brought to life so well thanks to Fincher’s grasp on the source material. I knew going into this film that there were some shocking and crazy parts to it, but Fincher turns it up a notch to make it one of the most compelling examinations of modern marriage this year. The book raises a lot of questions about how well we know our spouses, but the film visualizes it so flawlessly that it could leave any husband keeping a watchful and frightful eye on his wife moving forward.

And Fincher's familiar tone is on full display here. He always tends to work with the same people to give his films a similar yet distinctive feeling. Dark and dimly lit cinematography comes courtesy of his longtime director of photography Jeff Cronenweth. The multi-faced story occurring in different times and places is spliced together with such precision from long time film editor Kirk Baxter. And the bone chilling score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, who wrote one of the most inventive and original film scores in years for Fincher's "The Social Network," adds the perfect element of mystery to a film where over half the audience knows what's coming next. All these familiar elements help Fincher focus on the story and the acting rather than micromanage all other elements of his production.

But “Gone Girl” couldn’t have been made possible without the work of Fincher’s perfect casting. Affleck is great as Nick Dunne. Many people have a hard time taking him seriously as an actor after that terrible movie he made with his then-spouse over a decade ago. He’s not a bad actor, and he proves it here. This is one of the better roles he’s done. The supporting cast around him also fits into their roles perfectly including Carrie Coon as his twin sister and Kim Dickens as Detective Boney. Lighter supporting work from Tyler Perry as Affleck’s lawyer Tanner Bolt and Neil Patrick Harris as Desi Collings – a rich ex-boyfriend of Amy’s – are also solid despite limited screen time. The real star here, however, is Rosamund Pike as Amy Dunne. The adjectives I would use to describe her character could very well spoil some of the surprising elements of this film for those who aren’t familiar with the story. Let’s just say she plays the part subdued and low key – slightly different than I imagined it in the book – and plays it very well.

Anyone worried that “Gone Girl” will be another Hollywood butcher job of one of his or her favorite books can rest easy. At a time when Hollywood takes too many liberties with popular novels, this one turns out to be one of the most faithful adaptations of a book in recent years. There isn’t a better director out there to handle subject matter such as this than the masterful David Fincher. He’s taken a story that’s not just dark and turned it around to be a social examination on both marriage and the media’s guilty-until-proven-innocent stance. There’s so much to enjoy about this film. No matter if you’ve read the book or not, it’s a wild and crazy ride from beginning to end.