Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West

by Trevor Kirkendall

★

Seth MacFarlane is better heard from and not seen. After writing and directing his first big screen feature two years ago – “Ted” – the creator of TV’s “Family Guy” proved himself to be competent enough to take his sense of humor onto the big screen. I really liked “Ted” and thought it was a smart comedy, even if he flirted with crossing certain lines with his jokes. That’s what he’s known for, so there shouldn’t be any surprises there. With his sophomore feature “A Million Ways to Die in the West,” MacFarlane steps in front of the camera this time and tries his hand at being a leading man. The results are disastrous.

MacFarlane plays Albert Stark, a sheep farmer in the Arizona frontier in 1882. He’s just been dumped by his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), a young woman who he says is the only reason he’s happy in this awful time and place. His best friend is the naïve Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) who dates the town prostitute Ruth (Sarah Silverman). Ruth sleeps with many different men in town every day, but refuses to have sex with Edward until they’re married. Both Edward and Ruth have Albert’s back in this difficult time, especially after Albert discovers that Louise is now dating Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), a dashing man with a glorious moustache.

Enter the new girl to town, Anna (Charlize Theron), who is instantly attracted to Albert’s charming personality. What Albert doesn’t know about Anna is she’s actually married to Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), the most feared outlaw in the entire frontier. She keeps this little fact about her quiet as a means to protect Albert. Anna decides that she’s going to help Albert become a more confident person and a better gunslinger. That way he can beat Foy in a duel and win back Louise.

The premise of “A Million Ways to Die in the West” works – surprisingly. The storyline makes sense. The characters are likeable. There’s a definite rooting interest in Albert and Anna. The only problem is MacFarlane has completely polluted this entire film with the kind of trashy jokes he’s not able to deliver on “Family Guy.” From the moment the film starts, it’s full of juvenile toilet humor that is not at all funny.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: he did this in “Ted” too. He did, but to an extent. The humor is very adult oriented, but it worked for what the film was all about. Furthermore, “Ted” had a very big heart at its core. It was a very well written and well-made film, even with the dirty jokes. The story and the situations helped make the film funny. The dirty jokes added to the humor.

“A Million Ways to Die in the West” completely relies on the toilet humor to generate its laughs. Most of the jokes are overused and worn out, having been included in just about every sex comedy since the genre began. I’d be lying if I said this movie didn’t have its humorous moments; I did laugh at times. But this is by no means a movie that will have you rolling in the aisles. Unless you’re 12. Or jokes about genitals cause you endless hours of side-splitting laughter.

MacFarlane is a decent enough actor in his own right, but he’s probably better suited to work behind the camera, or in a voice-over booth. He’s not a leading actor, and proves himself unworthy by essentially playing himself here. And he doesn’t allow the rest of his supporting cast any room to move around either. Every single person in this film has been better elsewhere. The only person I enjoyed in this film was Harris simply because of the absurd level in which he played his role.

I can’t say I’m surprised by anything about “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” I was hoping MacFarlane could tap into that same type of magic he found with “Ted” but it didn’t work at all this time out. There was no emotional connection made at all. But should one really expect an emotional connection from every film they see? I don’t think it’s too much to ask for. And MacFarlane has already proved he can do that with a movie riddled with adult jokes. Just because it’s crude doesn’t mean it can’t connect with an audience.

The only emotions I felt out of this film with disgust and boredom. Despite its intermittent moments of genuine humor, the film has a very poor script that doesn’t do the story any justice. It’s a painful movie going experience, and I was glad when it was finished.