Review: Vacation

by Trevor Kirkendall
½★

Dear woman sitting next to me at the screening of “Vacation,”

You are the reason why I love going to the movies, even to the absurdly terrible films like “Vacation.” You see, while I was sitting in the theater hating – seriously hating – the movie, you were sitting next to me cackling at every ridiculous joke that came across the screen. From the legitimately funny situational jokes, to the slapstick scenes that made me shake my head and sigh in disgust. At least one of us was enjoying the film. And I enjoyed your role in the event that was my evening more so than I did any single frame of “Vacation.”

What I’m not saying is that your opinion of the movie is wrong and mine is right. Our opinions of movies are right in our own eyes, and our eyes only. You’ll go home and tell all your friends how hilarious it is, and I’ll be posting to the readers on my website that it’s in the running for worst film of the year. Your friends will choose to agree or disagree with you, and my readers will do the same. As a matter of fact, I’m quite certain people tend to disagree with my opinion more often than they agree with it, a fact that I’m more than okay with.

I found “Vacation” to be largely unfunny, contrary to the vocalization you were making throughout the film. Again, I’m so very glad you vocalized your enjoyment; had you not, I may have stood up from my seat and attempted to stick my head through the concrete wall.

Judging from the fact that you looked just slightly older than me, I’m going to guess your are aware that this movie is a reboot of the 1983 film of the same name from the late-and-great-and-inimitable Harold Ramis. But did you hear the group of high school kids behind us praising the film as the funniest thing they’ve ever seen? Do you think they know this is a reboot? I think the original film had far much more heart than this one, which made it much more enjoyable.

I thought Ed Helms playing the role of Rusty Griswold was a pretty solid choice. He’s a gifted comedian, and the things that make him a joy to watch were on full display throughout the film. But he seemed to phone it in. Only in one or two scenes did he come across looking like the son of Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase). Other than that, he might has well have been playing the role of Andy Bernard from his former TV series “The Office.” Numerous actors have portrayed the character as a kid, and they all brought with them a different take on it. But they all felt like the son of Clark in each outing. That’s not the case here. We only accept that he is Clark’s son because we’re told he’s Clark’s son.

Everything about this film looked like amateurs produced it. You would think that if someone was going to reboot a beloved franchise, they’d at least attempt to retain some of that same soul, but I found none of it. It was just one joke after the other, like is a comedian just standing there rambling without any segue. What’s lacking here is anything even remotely resembling a story. Sure, you could say the story is Rusty Griswold wanting to take his wife Debbie (Christina Applegate) and his two sons James and Kevin (Skyler Gisondo and Steele Stebbins) on an epic vacation to Walley World, just like he did as a kid with his family. That would be the plot of the film, all right, but there’s nothing else to it. Everything is just one poor joke after another, never building on anything that precedes it.

All these other characters are familiar stereotypes lacking any kind of growth and development as this sorry excuse for a story moves on. James is a dorky kid and Kevin is a foul mouthed little brother. Hearing the youngest son say phrases that were well above his age was funny the first couple of times, but quickly wore out its humor. The only time I found the film to have any ounce of legitimate humor was when Helms channeled his inner Chevy Chase. When he looked like the grown up son of Clark Griswold, the film was funny. Unfortunately, this only amounts to about two scenes throughout the entire film.

The thing about a movie like this is that it’s the product of years of market research and numerous test screenings. Which jokes play well to the masses? Which scenes get the biggest responses from the audience? I believe that a movie should just exist on its own without the need of test screenings. Either the film plays well, or it doesn’t. Instead, the final project is hacked-to-pieces mess that technically qualifies as a “motion picture” because a major studio financed it. There’s nothing artistic about this film at all.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” is probably what you’re thinking right now. “You just said ‘artistic’ about an R-rated comedy that first introduced itself with a red band trailer earlier this year. There’s nothing artistic about that!” Well, that’s true. I shouldn’t be going into a movie like “Vacation” expecting an Oscar-worthy experience. And I don’t. But I do expect everything released to be good. That’s not too much to ask. The basic pillars of storytelling need to be followed each and every time. I didn’t get that from this reboot of “Vacation” at all.

That responsibility sits square on the shoulders of the writer/directors John Francis Daley (an actor, primarily, as seen on the TV series “Bones”) and Jonathan M. Goldstein. How these two conned their way into writing and directing this abomination is beyond me. And they’ve somehow worked their way into writing the script for the upcoming Spider-Man reboot for Marvel. How did that happen? To you, they may have cranked out one of the funniest movies of the summer. Again, that’s completely your opinion. One you’re absolutely entitled to and that is perfectly okay. I’m not saying you’re wrong. But wouldn’t this have been even more memorable if there was a decent story tying all these funny jokes together? Would the jokes have had more of an impact if the characters were at least half way developed? The idea about focusing a “Vacation” story on the adult son of Clark Griswold is intriguing, but fails miserably. I wish we could talk a year from now and see if you remember any of the jokes or plot points in the film. Maybe you would. If you do, fantastic. If not, then that would prove my point.

Maybe I am getting too carried away here. After all, the vast majority of the moviegoers in the screening seemed to enjoy themselves. Especially you! I am in no way mocking your opinion here. Just stating what I saw in this film. This is probably not a great review of the film itself since a movie critic shouldn’t get so wrapped up with words “I” and “me," words which I have overused in this review. This was merely a way for me to express my opinion of the movie without being cruel or angry about it. In fact, when I think back to this movie, I’m going to remember your infectious laugh more than anything. So for that, I thank you. Take some comfort in knowing that your enjoyment made me enjoy the experience, which gives this film a bonus half-star rating.

I hope to see you again in another terrible movie sometime in the future.