Review: Furious 7

by Trevor Kirkendall

★½

I’m finished being nice to movies that are “just supposed to be mindless fun.” Filmmakers get a free pass when that phrase is uttered. Just because it’s supposed to be fun doesn’t mean it has to be stupid. And that’s exactly what all of these “just for fun” movies coming out of Hollywood over the last several years have been and I’m over it. I’m not going to critique movies based on what they're “supposed to be,” rather I’m going to judge them based on what I want every movie to be, which I don’t think is too much to ask for.

First under my new standards is one of those aforementioned films, “Furious 7.” Should I be nice because it’s the latest installment of a franchise that’s grossed a billion dollars? I know a lot of people like these films, and they are indeed entertaining, but just because it holds my attention doesn’t make it a good movie.

“Furious 7” is about more high stakes missions, fast cars, impossible stunts, close ups of bikini clad women walking slowly through the streets/beach, impossible stunts, product placements in every other shot, impossible stunts, rapid pace editing so fast you can’t tell what the hell is going on, and, of course, impossible stunts. Literally. In no other universe could these people survive the falls, crashes and explosions our heroes take.

In this seventh installment, the crew is being targeted by the evil Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), brother of the villain from the previous film. He sends a bomb to the home of Toretto (Vin Diesel), which almost kills him, Brian (Paul Walker) and Brian’s wife Mia (Jordana Brewster) who also happens to be Toretto’s sister. Shaw also goes after Agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and ends up throwing him out of a five-story building onto the roof of a car, which Hobbs survives (but does suffer from a broken arm and collarbone) of course.

Toretto and Brian get the crew back together (Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris and Michelle Rodriguez) to go after Shaw, but a mysterious government agent who calls himself Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) picks them up first. He offers them the job of recovering a computer program that could help the US government track anyone on the planet to their location in a matter of minutes. Mr. Nobody promises they can use the device to track down Shaw once they recover it.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about “Furious 7.” If you’ve seen any of the other six films in this far-too-long running franchise, then you know exactly what you’re getting into with this. It is mindless fun, but it’s very hard to swallow. Based on what we’ve seen in these films, I’m pretty sure our main characters could survive a nuclear blast from 10 yards away. Honestly, where’s the thrill when the people we’re supposed to care about are completely invincible?

There are only two things I’d like to address, but they’re two big problems with about 90% of the Hollywood movies today. The first is the screenplay. It’s hardly a screenplay. I guess it’s technically called that since it is a stack of papers with camera direction and dialogue, but there’s nothing good about it. Written by Chris Morgan (who’s had a hand in most of the previous sequels), the script is a disconnected mess with no flow and clichéd backstories meant to further develop the characters. That’s the problem with a franchise with so many sequels: we already know these characters and don’t need to bog down the run time with that unnecessary filler. The script also breaks its own rules time and time again. Don’t tell us a location is impossible to get to and then have the primary villain just appear out of thin air to increase the tension of the action. That’s just as hard for me to swallow as The Rock surviving a five story fall into the roof of a car.

Second, the editing. This is a problem running rampant in Hollywood these days that no one seems to be talking about. “Furious 7” has four credited editors on this movie. All action scenes are cut together so fast that each shot seems to be less than a second each. It’s dizzying and could possibly cause seizures. Is the attention span of the international movie-going public so short that there has to be a cut every split second? I find that hard to believe, but they must think people want to see stuff like this. Either that or these four editors received the footage and saw how poorly acted it was and saw how poor of a direction job James Wan did that they had to cut it like this in order to cover-up all the crap.

I will say one positive thing about “Furious 7,” and that is how well the filmmakers handled the sudden and tragic loss of series star Paul Walker. Walker was killed in the middle of filming on November 30, 2013 in a single car accident at the age of 40. The filmmakers enlisted the help of his brothers to finish the film. The touching tribute this franchise paid him was about as perfect as it could have been. I’m sure the final scenes of this script were different than what was given to us in the film, but it just seems right and is the most acceptable scene in the film. The franchise won’t end with Walker’s way-too-early death, but it won’t be the same without him.

From a filmmaking standpoint, these movies aren’t good at all. As a paid advertisement for Corona and Maserati, I guess they are in good fun. There are far worse franchises out there than this one, but I’m tired of critiquing them differently. I’m going to call it as I see it, even if I do have a soft spot for these stupid films. And they are stupid. They’re also fun. But they’re also terrible.